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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired
If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat.
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music
The best thing about living at the water’s edge
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
What year did Jesus think it was?
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.
Prince Philip Quotes
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A christmas candle is a lovely thing
A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want...
Johnny Depp Quotes - I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me
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